OMG!!!!

Ok, so after taking 6 HPT's (all postitive), I had my BETA this morning. I'm 307!!

I don't think that I really believe it yet! I go back on Sunday for another round of bloodwork. Maybe then I will believe it.

Thank you so much to all the ladies who have walked me thru this and for each and every one of your prayers!!!

The most amazing feeling was hearing the sound of my husbands voice when I told him. His response..."wow, I'm gonna be a Dad".

Praise God!!! My only path to peace on this journey with infertility has been my relationship with God. He showed me things i never would have seen without Him, and taught me lessons I never could have learned!

More waiting.... GRRRRR!!!

Ok, so... yes you guessed it.... I took another HPT this morning when I got up. POSITIVE!!!
So, I just got the official blood work done at the doctors office. And now we wait. This process has been extremely stressful, but in the end, if it works... all the waiting will be totally worth it. I know that they close at noon today so I will have some idea of what's going on before then.

I have a death grip on my cell phone and I'm praying harder than I ever have before!!!!

Reminder & note to self: GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! ULTIMATELY, HE KNOWS WHAT YOUR JOURNEY ENTAILS.

I keep reminding myself the words of my beautiful friend Robin.....Put your faith in the Lord...lean not on your own understanding! It is all going to work out!

I'm starting to get excited...

ok, so I had sales meetings all afternoon yesterday. I got home early (like 4:30), I pee'd on a stick again. POSITIVE!!!

I talked to my sister last night. Being a nurse, she said that she won't believe it until I use my first pee of the morning. (sorry too much info, I know) So, I did it again this morning POSITIVE AGAIN!!!

So, I think that it worked!!! I'm still trying not to get too excited because I've been in this position before and then It went away. So, I'm anxiously counting the hours until my appointment tomorrow!!!

Terry's starting to get excited too. This morning when he kissed me good bye, he rubbed my belly and said I love you. I almost wanted to cry. We both want this so much!!

Maybe???

ok, so I caved. I had to run to CVS to pick up my prenatal vitamin rx. I had to walk right by the prego tests to get to the pharmacy in the back of the store. Yes, I know what you are thinking! I said I wasn't going to do it. But big shocker... I bought one. I went directly back to the office and pee'd on the stick. It was positive. My iui was on 10-17 & 10-18 and my BETA is on Friday 10-31. Is it too soon for me to actually be getting a positive reading? My RE warned me about false positives.... but I think that I just wanted to see what a positive actually looked like. I'm trying not to get my hopes up just in case, but It would be really great if God has decided to bless me with this miracle.

I did a first response digital hpt. The little tiny hourglass flashes for what feels like days and then it says pregnant or not pregnant. This one was flashing and while I was washing my hands and refreshing my lipstick I looked over and it said "pregnant". So, It didn't even take the full 3 minutes. I'm kinda kicking myself for not waiting, because I really want to be super excited, but I don't want to celebrate too soon!!

More waiting.....

OK, so we had a great weekend...

I took Terry to a local pumpkin patch & corn maze. Can you believe that a 42 year old man has never been to a pumpkin patch? He blames it on growing up in Chicago. Even though we had a great time together, it was still kinda sad. Everyone on the hayride to the pumpkin patch was with their children...and here sat alone, my husband and I, childless.

But I digress, We can only hope that this time next year we have a little one to take with us. But I am constantly trying to remind myself that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! NOT ME, BUT GOD!!!

But I do have to share a story, If this offends anyone I apologize in advance.

Terry shared with me his story of "depositing his specimen" as he calls it...
The doctors office apparently has a "video of the day". I guess that makes sense. If you have to "deposit" two days in a row, this way you don't get bored right? Well, apparently my husband is rather picky with his porn. I won't tell you what he said about Friday's video. But Saturday, I guess the video obviously had two people engaging in the physical act of love. But here's the kicker.... it was thru a fence. The guy on one side and the woman on the other. Apparantly, Terry was not at all impressed with what we now refer to as "fence porn". He commented on how the woman looked like a devil.

I'm not sure why this is so funny to me. But I guess if you can't find something little to laugh about during this process you are going to drive yourself nuts.

We are hoping that the crazy "devil fence porn" story is some kind of crazy sign. We do our test on Friday, October 31st. HALLOWEEN!! My older sister found out on Halloween 5 years ago that she was prego. Sounds like a sign to me???

I'm trying soooo hard to be optimistic!! But the 2ww is KILLING ME!!!!

The waiting is killing me!!!

Ok, so I'm one week post iui.

I went to my RE's office this morning for bloodwork. Basically from what I understand they are checking my progesterone levels. The doc wants to make sure that it greater than 20 so that my body can substain a pregnancy if God grants us the opportunity!

I got the call from the office that everything looks good. I ovulated and my progesterone is greater than 20.

So on with more waiting!!!

Now we wait.....

ok, so we had the actual IUI (Intrauterine insemination) procedure done yesterday and today....

Hopefully we aren't starting any traditions, but Terry went to the doc early to "watch his porn" as he so politely puts it. We met for breakfast and then both went back together. We did this both days. It was nice to enjoy a bite to eat together, even though I was so nervous on Friday that I just nibbled on my pancakes.

Friday, Shelly did the procedure. I barely felt anything. I asked her if she was doing it because I didn't feel it. Saturday was a different story. Another nurse practitioner in the office, that I was not familiar with, did the procedure. I've been told that your uterus moves so that may have been the cause of my pain, but WOW what a difference a day makes. I didn't really care for her bedside manner but Terry thinks it may just be due to the fact that it wasn't Shelly. I've grown really comfortable with Shelly and I kinda freek out a little when I have to deal with some one new.

So now we begin the 2 week wait!! Let the prayers begin!!!

Two posts in One...

I'm a little behind in posting...

Had an appointment on 10-14 & on 10-16 both for ultrasounds. Looks like my follicles are growing!!! Grow baby Grow!! On Tuesday, Shelly the nurse said there were six each between 14-11. On Thursday she said there were 3. I'm not sure where the other 3 went but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the 3 that I have keep growing strong!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!!

Terry goes tomorrow at 8:30 to "deposit his specimen" and I go at 9:45 for implantation!!

I'm freeking out a little!!!

OUCH!!

ok, so my meds arrived today. I was totally freaked out about having to give myself a shot, seeing as how I HATE needles.

We have some friends in town, one of which is a nurse. I figured that If I couldn't do it, at least she would be around. I tried to pump myself up to do it myself because I know that Nicole won't be around everyday that I need meds.

Finally after a small panic attack, I DID IT!!! Terry was right next to me supporting me, but he couldn't look at the needle.... Hence the reason why I'm giving the shots to myself!

It's really not that bad. I think it's more in my head than anything!!!

In the beginning....

Ok, so today is the beginning. I decided that I would begin to blog this process as not to forget the good, the bad and the exciting times to come. Terry & I have decided that we are not going to share this process with many. It's a very personal situation and it is very stressful. Not many understand the journey of infertility......being constantly poked, proded, monitored etc. It becomes a lot to handle. We just decided that we didn't want to add the questions of friends and family on top of the existing stress.

Today, we meet with the fertility doctor (also known as a reproductive endocrinologist) at 11:30. From my initial understanding, we will have an ultrasound and I will be trained on how to administer the medication to myself. This process scares me completely!! I’m a little freaked out by needles and having to give myself a shot is something that I’m not sure that I can do. But in the end if it works it will be totally worth it

I’m feeling a little light headed and strangely dizzy this morning but I think that it’s just nerves. We shall see how things go.