Ouch!

We just returned from the pediatricians office with the girls.  They once again received their monthly synagis (RSV) vacinations.  Only one more of these to go.  March will be their last shot for RSV.  Doing this every month breaks my heart.  You would seriously think that someone was killing the girls.  They scream bloody murder after getting this shot.  I'm not sure who shed more tears today, me or the girls?  I over heard a boy in the room next to ours say to his mom "do you think that baby got a shot?  If she did I think we should leave now because I don't want to get a shot because it hurts my throat to scream."  It was the cutest thing.

Quick update on the girls:

Addison's current weight 15 pounds even.  They didn't measure the girls today but it's very obvious that Addison is using her calories to grow lengthwise.  She is a good inch and a half taller than Lex.  They keep telling us that she is going to be VERY tall like her Daddy.

Alexis is currently weighing 16 pounds 3 ounces.  She is filling in and has some of the cutest little fat rolls on her legs.  Terry and I were talking about her little chubby legs in the ped's office while the girls were naked waiting to be weighed.  He said, "remember when my wedding ring would fit all the way up her leg and touch her thigh?  Now, I seriously doubt I can get my watch all the way up her leg." 

The pediatrician is pleased with their progress and God willing we won't be back in the pediatricians office until it's time for next months shots.

Learning to relax a little.....

While the last 10 1/2 months have been the most difficult of my life they have also been the most exciting and moving times of my life.  When the girls first came home I thought that I would never be able to sleep again.  I hate to admit this, but there were a few nights when I would actually poke the girls just to make sure they were still breathing.  The machines at the hospital had become a crutch.  Instead of focusing on holding my beautiful babies, I was consistently checking the monitors making sure that their oxygen levels were ok and that their heart rates were where they needed to be.  I became serious uptight and obsessive about knowing everything that was going on.  A few evenings ago, I watched back the video of the girl's baptism in the NICU.  Instead of focusing my attention on what was going on, you can see in the video that I was preoccupied by the monitors.  When we finally got the girls home the monitors and alarms were not there to reassure me that everything was ok.  Hence the reason for my constant poking of the girls while they slept.  After a few months, I learned to sleep again.  It took me quite awhile to actually get that "good sleep" back.  I always felt like I was sleeping with one eye open or that I could never fall very deep asleep because I wanted to be alert in the event something happened.  I can honestly say that I now feel at peace when I lay down at night.  It only took me about 10 months but I'm finally there.

Change?!?  UGH!  I've never been one that is great with accepting new things.  I usually stress about it until it completely over takes my life.  When Addison wouldn't take her bottle when she first got home, I became obsessed with finding out what was going on.  I literally would not sleep until I figured out what was going on.  Come to find out that it was something as small as changing from a rubber nipple to a silicone nipple.  Addison doesn't like the silicone nipple and prefers rubber.  Where Alexis will only drink from a silicone nipple and dislikes rubber. 

When Alexis kept waking up every night soaking wet I became obsessed with finding the perfect diaper that didn't require her to lay in sopping wet pj's every morning.  I think I tried almost 9 different types and brands of diapers until I found a solution.

Over the weekend we made the switch from the specialty preemie formula to regular Similac Advanced formula.  Our pediatrician told us we could do this several weeks back.  She told us to use up what we had left and then transition them into the new formula.  I seriously have been having some major anxiety issues about switching the girls from their high calorie preemie formula to a regular infant formula.  Would they like the new formula?  What if they won't drink it?  How do we switch them?  Do we mix in some of the new with the old and slowly keep adding more of the new stuff?  Nope, as advised by the girl's pediatrician, we just switched them cold turkey.  Once again, All of my anxiety and stressing was for nothing.  They didn't even bat an eye at the change. 

These are only a few of the things that I've fixated on over the past few months.  So the moral of this story?  Is all of my anxiety, constant worrying, tension and stressing because I'm crazy or because I only want what's best for my little girls??  Probably a combination of both.  But after this weekend, where the girls once again surprised me with their amazing resilience, I'm vowing to chill out a little.  I've learned to sleep again, why can't I learn to mellow out a little?  It's the tiny little things like this that have caused me to prematurely grey.  Yes, at 32 years old I'm finding more and more grey hairs everyday.  My new goal is to just roll with the punches.  Shit happens and there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change it.  I feel like my constant obsessing is making me miss out on the amazing little moments that my girls experience everyday.  From here on out I will relax and take the time to breathe in my surroundings and not sweat the small stuff.

I saw this quote on a fellow MoM's (mother of multiples) blog last week and I thought it was perfect.

"In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything.  You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage."

--Bill Cosby

NOTE TO SELF.....

Stop leaving your cell phone in areas where little hands can get ahold of it!!!!

Two weeks ago I had to purchase a new cell phone because it unknowingly fell out of my pocket and little tiny hands (aka Alexis Faith) picked it up and started chewing on it.  When I finally got it back in my possession, it looked as if a Saint Bernard had slobbered all over it.  The water damage was beyond repair.

This evening I placed my phone on the back of the coffee table.  I seriously thought that it was out of reach.  I walked away to start getting the girls bedtime food ready and I started to hear some giggling.  I knew they were up to no good!  Sure enough, Alexis was showing Addison how she had gotten her tiny little paws on my phone once again.  Luckily this time I think I caught it fast enough that I was able to dry it out with the help of my hair dryer.  Here's hoping I don't have to buy another phone!!  :-)  The girls have serious obsessions with phones of any type of course with the exception of their own toy cell phones.  They know the difference between the real thing and the not so real thing.  They also love the remote controls and their baby monitors....all things which slobber can do serious damage too.

As my husband says, I have no one to blame but myself! 

LESSON LEARNED!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!!

We have secured the date and location for the girls first birthday party.  Please save the date of Saturday, April 24th, 2010 to help us celebrate making it through the first year.  We have a ton to be thankful for and we hope that you will join us in honoring our two precious miracles.

The Girls First Valentine's Day!

I recently saw some pictures that a friend of mine had done of her daughter at a professional photo studio.  They basically gave her daughter a plastic shaped heart and she began chewing on it and they snapped some pictures.  I thought to myself..... I can do this myself and off to Michael's I went.  I bought a few foam hearts and two larger than normal heart shaped cookie cutters.  Let me tell you, this was a bigger project than I orginally thought it would be.  The girls we so over having their pictures taken by the time it was done.  Here are a few of my favorites that didn't make the cut:

The Above pictures are of Alexis.  Taken on February 3rd. 2010.

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The above three pictures are of Addison.

And the impossible.....getting a great picture of both girls sitting still at the same time.  This was much harder than I thought it would be!!!

Here is the final product.  Aren't my two little cupids adorable?  Sorry it didn't scan great but you get the idea of our finished Valentine's card.  Terry refers to Addison as Gene Simmons in this picture because she seriously has the longest tongue you have ever seen on a baby.

10 Months!!

The girls turned 10 months this past Saturday. This is so surreal to me! It seems like just yesterday Terry and I were hovering over their isolets, spending endless hours in the NICU. They have come so far and we feel so blessed to be the parents of two adorable girls! I can't believe that we are already planning their first birthday party. I'm days away from securing the location and date. Keep your fingers crossed that the date we've selected works out for us.

Here are some stats and my favorite pictures from the last month. I apologize for being so lax about posting pictures. It seems like lately my free time is becoming less and less. The girls are super mobile now and you can't step away for a second without one of them causing some form of trouble.

Addison

No current weight or height as we haven't been to the pediatrician in awhile.

Currently has two teeth and loves to show them to everyone. If you ask her to show you her teeth she will open up proudly.

She's quick! Our poor cat is being attacked on a daily basis. Jynxie gets love from Addison constantly. We are still working on teaching Addison the concept of "petting her nicely" but she isn't quite understanding. Addison can dart from one side of the living room to the other in seconds. Jynxie is quick, but Addison gives her a run for her money.

Addison plays very well by herself. She loves her books and absolutely loves her Playskool Busy Lil Garden Butterfly.

This butterfly will keep her busy for a long time.  We should really think about investing in Energizer because the amount of batteries we go through is insane.

I can't really say that Addison has a favorite food because she will eat just about anything.  She isn't a fan of fresh mashed up bananas but loves them in Gerber baby food form.

Still wearing Size 2 diapers and Size 3 at night.  Also wears 6 month clothing, some 9 months.

Addison becomes more vocal every day.  In the last month her hair has gotten really long.  She has the sweetest smile and the most beautiful blue eyes that pierce my heart every time I look at her.  She is really starting to have more and more of a personality and is generally a very happy little girl.

Typical picture of my Sweet Addison.  Always chewing on something.  She is seriously working on some more teeth.  We hope they pop through soon!

Umm...I will never forget to put a bib on her EVER AGAIN!!!  Love those blue eyes!!

I took the above two pictures on their actual ten month birthday.  Addison was more interested in actually playing with the letters than posing for a picture.  Again, we had to improvise with the second "D", since their play mat only has one.

This picture is not from the last month.  It actually was taken on New Year's Eve.  I'm not sure why it never got posted, but it's one of my favorite pictures of Addison.  She has the sweetest smile.

Alexis

Again, no current weight or height, but I would guess around 15lbs-ish.

Currently also has TWO teeth.  MAKING OUR OFFICIAL TOOTH COUNT AT FOUR!!  (I haven't done an official tooth count recently!)  She has discovered that having teeth causes her Momma to yell OUCH on a regular basis.  She thinks it's funny to chew on my hand and bite down occasionally.  For some reason hearing me yell OUCH is pretty funny?  I don't get it, but she thinks it's hysterical?

Alexis is a climber.  She tries to push her toys up against the couch and then uses them as a step stool to try and hoist herself up.  She hasn't quite figured it out yet, but I have a feeling that it's coming soon.  She also loves to be upside down?  I'm not sure what that's about, but if it makes her happy we just roll with it!  

I can't really say that Alexis has a favorite toy.  She bounces back and forth from all her toys and I can't say that she consistently plays with just one specific toy.  Her new favorite thing to do is play "Where's Alexis"?  She will grab one of her burp cloths and place it over her head until you say "Where's Alexis"  then she will pull it off of her head and start giggling.  It's the cutest thing!!!

I also can't say that Alexis has a favorite food.  Both girls are not really picky eaters. (knock on wood)  We are still trying to transition the girls into more solid foods.  They have been eating baby food for quite awhile.  Our pediatrician wants us to work on getting them into more textured foods.  We are still working with the puffs so the girls get the swallowing of whole foods down.

Still wearing Size 2 diapers and Size 3 at night.  Alexis is probably ready to transition into a Size 3 diaper full time.  I'm just trying to use up some of the Size 2's we have first.

Alexis is our resident "Drama Queen" this month.  She knows that when she "fake coughs" that she gets attention.  When the girls were younger and had a lot of "choking issues" we would quickly dart to them every time we heard the slightest cough.  I think that Alexis knows this and tries to use this trick to get attention sometimes.  We are on to her little games!  She also has developed a very distinct "fake cry" that turns into her laughing.  She's a little stinker but is also the biggest cuddler.  She didn't used to be so cuddly but now she loves to give hugs.  She melts me everytime she climbs up onto my lap to give me a hug. 

Alexis' hair has gotten long this month as well, but has also gotten very thick.  She is so much like her father I can't even explain it.  She is SO Terry's little female version of MINI ME!!!

This picture is from the beginning of the month.  It amazes how big she has gotten in the last few weeks!Alexis NEVER sleeps in her boppy anymore so I couldn't resist taking a picture of her so peaceful and QUIET!!!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this picture of Lex.  She has the biggest smile that can brighten any room!

Alexis also loves to scream!  I can actually hear her screaming just by looking at this picture.

YEP, another picture to prove that I was having a momentary bout with insanity. 

I VOW TO NEVER FORGET TO PUT ON A BIB AGAIN!!!

I'm learning how to be quick with the camera.  I take 25 pictures and get 2-3 good ones.  Thank goodness for digital cameras!!

This picture cracks me up.  Alexis is giving me "the look".  I  feel like she is telling me that I'm nuts.  I get this look at least once a day. 

I know that I say this every month, but I can't believe how far they have come.  I'm reminded on a daily basis how blessed we are to have two beautiful healthy baby girls.  I look back and can't believe that they were once so tiny.  I'm seriously going to work on posting a "look back" blog soon!  When people ask me why we keep the girls so sheltered during cold and flu season it's because we've been through hell and back.  I'm hoping that doing a "look back" post will put things into perspective.  Just envision for a second.....

a newborn baby who's head is no larger than a tennis ball,

a precious life who's just longer than a standard size ruler

a tiny leg that's not much wider than a tube of chap stick

I could keep going, but I'm going to save it for another time.  But let me just ask you this.....If you had experienced what we have, don't you think you would do absolutely everything in your power to protect your children as well???

We know that protecting our girls is the least we can do.  I credit God for having a HUGE role in getting us to where we are today.  Every breath is sacred.  Every smile is a gift.  Every day is a blessing.

I feel so lucky to be the Mom of these two precious GIFTS FROM GOD!!!

I promise to get my Valentine's post up soon!!!

This is what I've been listening to all morning....

The SWEETEST sound!!

Our girls have been doing the baby talk for a long time now.  You know....the typical goo goo gah gah baby babble.  On numerous occasions while I would be getting ready for work, I would hear the girls babbling to each other in their cribs.  It was so sweet!!  Over the last few days Alexis and Addison both have been popping out with an occasion Da Da.  Last Sunday was filled with Alexis constantly saying Da Da at least 100 times during the day.  Every time I hear a Da Da, I follow it with a Ma Ma.  Alexis thinks that is funny and Addison just stares at me like I'm nuts. 

Well, yesterday when I got home from work, I greeted the girls in my normal fashion and Alexis looks up at me with her big brown eyes and a huge smile on her face and says Ma Ma.  It totally melted my heart!!

I played with the girls for a bit and then went upstairs to prep for our Valentine's pictures (stay tuned to see!).  When I returned downstairs, Addison saw me from around the corner and yelled Ma Ma.  Talk about making me cry some major happy tears!!!  This morning I was giving the girls hugs & kisses before I left for work.  As I started to walk away, Alexis looks at me and says Ma Ma Ma Ma.  Talk about making it super hard to leave for work!!!

I continue to be truly amazed at our girl's progress!  When I was putting away some things in the girls memory boxes last weekend I pulled out the hospital bands that were placed around their ankles on Day 1.  WOW!!  I need to post pictures of them next to a quarter so you can see the size in perspective.  The circle that the band created was smaller than the size of a quarter.  They have come so far and we are truly blessed that they continue to thrive.  Who knew that when they told us Addison would never leave the hospital or that she would never use the left side of her body, that she would be the mastermind behind the trouble the girls have been up to lately (a posting for another time)?

Official Tooth Count....

Our official "Tooth Count" has now moved up to THREE!! 

Miss Addison is still holding strong with her two bottom teeth and poses a close resemblance to a super cute Halloween jack-o-lantern.  You can feel in her mouth that her top two are ready to pop out any day now.

This morning when I was feeding Alexis breakfast she started doing her little "spit at mom" routine which she thinks is hilarious, let me tell you it's not!!!  It's the same spitting thing she does all day long that sounds likes she is blowing raspberries.  Occasionally she does it while she is eating and makes a HUGE mess.  I know that she knows that she is making a mess, because she gets this little mischievous look on her face and then starts laughing at herself.  Anyway, while she was cracking herself up, I noticed a little toofer in her mouth.  It must have just poked out because it wasn't there last night when she was chewing on my finger.  My babies are growing up so quickly!!!

Quick story....I'm sure that you all have seen the pictures that I have posted of our baby gate/corral that keeps the girls confined in our living room, well I guess I should say....used to keep the girls confined.  Yesterday Terry called me at work and told me that the girls have figured out how to open the gate and free themselves.  We are in big trouble if this continues!!  He said Alexis was standing up at the front door and Addison had climbed up three stairs and was on her way upstairs.  We are still trying to figure out who was the mastermind behind their escape, but we are pretty sure that they have been plotting this for awhile.  I continue to be amazed at how much they interact and play with each other.  They are constantly laughing at each other and smiling at one another.  Don't get me wrong...they have their share of fights, but we can already tell they are going to be best friends.

Stay tuned in the next week or so for the girls "First Valentine's Day" photos!!!