Breathe?

I can honestly say that it has been a few months since I've had a panic attack or have been seriously worried about something affecting my girls.  It's been nice to be able to semi-relax and not be uptight about results of pending tests from doctor's appointments.

As the weekend approaches I'm beginning to get that huge knot in my stomach again.  That same knot that I used to get every Sunday evening before Addison would have her weekly Monday brain scans.  That same knot that I would get before every MRI, every x-ray, pretty much basically every test my girls ever had.

Before every test, I would find myself bargaining with God.  I would have conversations with HIM, pleading for HIM to protect my girls.  I would tell HIM that I would do anything HE wanted if HE would just let them be ok.  Instead of just having faith that HE knew what was best for our family, and trusting that HE would protect us, I tried to bargain with HIM. 

My bargaining didn't work most days, but it brought me to my knees on more than one occasion.  It has made me realize that I need to just "Let go and Let God".....A much easier said than done concept for me.  So, once again today, I'm reminded a scripture I've quoted numerous times before, Jeremiah 29:11.  There is something about this gentle reminder that allows me to take a deep breath and know that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.

You probably are wondering what I'm getting at here.....
Tuesday morning, bright and early, Alexis will see the pediatric opthamologist again.  Alexis had/has ROP (retinopathy of prematurity).  Basically ROP is abnormal blood vessel development of the retina.  Alexis' ROP was caused mainly by being born prematurely, but also because of the high amounts of oxygen they had to used to "jump start" her when she was born.

Yes, Alexis can see, and we are very grateful for that.  I know this to be true because that girl can spot a cheerio from across the room.  She has issues from time to time where her eyes will cross or where one eye will turn outward.  When she gets really tired you can see that her eyes start to bother her.  At her last appointment the doctor discussed with us the possibility of prescribing her glasses to see if that would correct the problem.  Her eye muscles are weak and generally underdeveloped.  All normal issues of a premature baby with ROP.  The doctor did also indicate that if glasses do not correct the problem she may have to have surgery to stop the abnormal blood vessels from growing.  At her last appointment he wasn't ready to make a decision regarding her treatment.  He wanted to give her a few more months to mature.  Tuesday's appointment will determine our plan of action.

I think it will literally break my heart if my little peanut has to wear glasses.  We will do whatever is in her best interest but I hope she doesn't have to.  I'm not sure if I will be strong enough to accept it if the doctor says that she needs to have surgery.  For now, I'm just trying to breath and I am praying for the best.  No, this isn't a life or death issue, but I can't help but think that my little girl has already been through enough in her short little life.

I ask all of you to join me in praying that Alexis' eye issues have all resolved on their own and that she doesn't have to have surgery.  I firmly believe that we are where we are today because of the millions of answered prayers that we have had for our family.  We can not thank each and every one of you enough.

We hope you all have a fun and safe Memorial Day Holiday!!!

What a difference a few days makes.....

Earlier this week with temperatures here in Indiana at barely 55 degrees, we were playing in the house with the girls new tunnel.  They love to crawl behind things (especially people) and crawl through things so Terry figured they would love a tunnel.  Addison, who has no fear, loves it and went right through.  Alexis was a little unsure of herself but eventually went through.  You will notice in the pictures that both girls are in long sleeves and I'm wearing a sweater....

Addison crawling through the tunnel.

Addison playing peek-a-boo in the tunnel.

Addison loving the tunnel.

Alexis not quite sure...

Alexis checking things out.

Today, with temperatures towering close to 90 degrees, we decided to fill up the girls pool and go swimming.  I figured since the girls love bath time that they would really enjoy their pool.  Of course, you have to wait 30 minutes after eating before going in the pool right.....So we had the girls model in their suits.

Above two pictures:  Miss Alexis proudly displaying her bathing suit.

Above two:  Miss Addison showing off her swimming suit.

Here are a ton of pictures of pool time:

Birthday SHOUT OUT!!!

Just wanted to wish a VERY special 1ST birthday to our fellow preemie friends.  Derek & David will be celebrating their first birthday's over the next few days.  David was born on May 16, 2009 weighing in at 1 pound 13 ounces and Derek was born May 19, 2009 weighing in at 1 pound 12 ounces.  (Yes, they are twins with different birthdays!)

Our friends, Jody & John have traveled this crazy journey with us this past year and we are so proud of their little boys.  They continue to thrive and beat the odds of most preemie boys.

Happy Birthday Boys!  Big Hugs to you all!!!

Could they be any cuter?

Official Tooth Count....

Sorry for the lack of posting recently.  Things have still been a little chaotic around our house.  Terry is doing much better but still has a lifting restriction of five pounds.  We are very fortunate that my Mom was able to stay with us after the party to help out.  The girls are loving having her around. 

About a week ago I noticed that Miss Alexis finally popped out another top tooth.  She now has four teeth.  Two on top and two on bottom.  Addison also still is holding strong with four as well.  We've been noticing that as the girls start teething more, that they aren't as interested in napping and their sleep is becoming more and more disturbed at night.  I'm hoping that this is just a phase.

I did talk to the girl's pediatrician on the phone the other day about the teething issue.  We had a chicken pox scare that I had originally called the pediatrician about, so while I had her on the phone I wanted to pick her brain regarding some other issues.  She assured me that the teething thing is all normal and the girls will eventually return to sleeping again.  I also mentioned to her that the girls seem disinterested in drinking their formula lately.  She again assured me that this too, is also normal.  She told me that as the girls start eating more and more solid table food, they will not want the formula as much.  She still wants us to continue with the formula until they are at least 15 months to help bump up their weights a little.  She told us that we may want to think about switching to a "toddler" formula. 

So, I was doing some research online regarding toddler formulas.  Obviously, it's recommended that you don't switch brands of formula.  We have always used Similac, so the girls are now using Similac Go and Grow toddler formula.  During the process of my online research I came across this toddler formula:

Does anyone else see a problem with this formula??  Is it me or am I crazy to think that chocolate baby formula is a little on the strange side????  I guess there must be people out there who use it otherwise they wouldn't make it but I still think it's weird.

So as I was pondering our formula options, and ruling out the chocolate formula, I started thinking how a dentist would feel about a toddler drinking chocolate formula.  Then it hit me....why haven't we been taking care of the eight little teeth that we now have?  I'm obsessed with oral hygiene so it shocked me that we haven't been brushing the girls teeth.  I can proudly say that I've only had 4 cavities in my entire, almost 33 years.  I didn't get my first cavity until I was in my late 20's.  I hope to be able to pass that onto my girls.

So we got out the girls toothbrushes and put them to work.  Of course, they didn't quite understand the concept of brushing their little chompers yet, but we are working on it.  Here are a few pictures:

Above Alexis:   "What the heck is this Mom?"

Above Addison:  "Mom, are you sure I'm supposed to put this thing in my mouth?  You just told me to stop putting everything in my mouth.  I'm so confused???"

Above two Alexis:  "I like chewing on this side better Mommy."

Above two Addison:  "Mom stop taking my picture, I'm really trying to concentrate here"

Above two Alexis:  "I think I got the hang of it now Mom".

Mother's Day #2

I must say that this Mother's Day was much better than the last.  While my first Mother's Day will always be special, I can't say that I missed spending the day in the hospital.  The girls were a mere 27 days old last year, while I can say I will never forget that day, I'm very happy to be looking forward as opposed to backwards this year!!

My girls were very thoughtful this year.  They got me some lovely flowers to plant in our yard as well as a manicure and pedicure.  With the help of my own Mom (since Terry still can't lift the girls), Terry had the girls sign the cards for me.  Of course their signatures consisted of the cutest little scribbles you ever saw.  I was wondering how Alexis got ink all over her face.  Apparently she was more interested in eating the pen than actually practicing her penmanship. 

The girls also got me one of those cards which plays music.  Off the top of my head, I can't recall the song?  Maybe that's because the girls took the card from me and thought it was funny to open and close it.  I'm pretty sure I heard the song close to 150 times yesterday?  Maybe that's why I can't remember what song it is?  I've blocked it from my head.  Regardless, it was pretty comical to watch the girls open the card and start dancing whenever they hear the music.

I'm very blessed to be able to call myself the Mom of two beautiful and healthy baby girls.  A year ago we weren't so sure that we would actually make it here.  I can honestly say that we couldn't have done it without the love and support of all our family and friends.  Not one day goes by that I don't thank God for granting me the privilege of being a Mommy.

Birthday Party PART 3 finally! And one year stats!

Sorry for the delay in posting these pictures.  It seems like in the last week or so, time has totally gotten away from me.  Terry's recovery is going well, but it seems like I have a lot more on my plate without him being able to help out.  I hate to admit it....but he does A LOT more than I give him credit for.  Here are the cake pictures that I know you all have been waiting for!  Enjoy!!  Stats at the bottom....

The girls were very intrigued by the idea that their highchairs were in the front yard.

Alexis left & Addison right.

Addison's first bite.

She didn't waste anytime digging into her cake.  I finally had to be the party pooper and take it away from her when she started gagging on the frosting.

Alexis' first bite.

Alexis wasn't quite as messy as Addison was, but you could tell she enjoyed it.

• ONE YEAR STATS

Addison Grace

• Weighed 15 pounds 11 ounces on April 14, 2010 (the day after their 1st birthday)
• Measured 28" tall.  Pediatrician still predicts she is going to be very tall.
• Is generally a great kiddo.  I know I might curse myself, but she is the better sleeper of the two.  If you put her in her crib, she will grab her blankie and lay right down.
• Eats very well.  The only thing she won't eat right now is cooked carrots.  She doesn't mind baby food carrots but doesn't like fresh cooked carrots.
• Still babbles a lot, says Da Da, Mama, up, and is the master "patty caker".
• She has the sweetest little personality.  I can honestly say that her personality has started to blossom more in the last month or so. 
• Still has blonde, super curly hair in the back.  The more humid it is, the curlier her hair is.
• Still wears size 6-9 month clothing and some 9 month clothes.
• Wears Size 3 Pampers Cruisers Diapers.
• Has 4 teeth, the top two and the bottom two.
• Not walking yet, but is a super fast crawler and can climb the stairs in record time.
• Love to take a bath.  I regret teaching her how to splash because she is now great at it!

Alexis Faith

• Weighed 16 pounds 13 ounces on April 14, 2010.
• Measured 27 1/2 inches tall.
• Is also generally a very good kiddo.  She has an attitude (wonder where she gets that from??) that pokes out from time to time.  She knows what she wants!
• Eats very well.  Love Cherrios.  Also does not like cooked carrots. 
• Talks a lot.  She's the louder and more vocal of the two munchkins.  Says Mama only when she is mad or wants something.  Says DaDa all the time.  Says Tat (aka Cat) and will mimic just about whatever you say. 
• Has become more reserved and makes you work to get smiles from her.  But when she smiles, it will melt your heart when she grins from ear to ear.
• Still has jet black straight hair & the largest brown eyes you have ever seen.
• Still wears 6-9 month clothing. And an occasional 9 month outfit.
• Wears size 3 Pampers Cruisers Diapers.
• Has 3 teeth.  Two on the bottom and one on the top.  I'm pretty sure she's working on more now.
• Walks like a pro except for when she is tired, she looks like a drunk.  She's become better at walking in just the last week or so.  She won't climb the stairs like Addison does.
• Also loves to take a bath.  I'm pretty sure she loves playing with her alphabet toys in the water more than she loves taking a bath.