Wednesday, December 24, 2008

To go OR Not to go???

OK, I'm faced with a small dilemma today. But first, let me give you a little background about me. I'm sure that most of you already know this, but I was raised in a strong Catholic family. Every Saturday evening at 5:15 promptly, we would all pile into the car and head to church. Growing up I attended all the religion classes, made my first confession, communion, and confirmation. Even though, to this day, I feel that it is ridiculous to ask a 13 year old child to make a lifelong commitment to the church, I did it because that's what I was told to do. Church to me was always a requirement and a obligation, not a choice. At some point, all of my sisters have pulled the "bring home a bulletin" trick. If my parents couldn't attend mass on Saturday and we still chose to, we were told to "bring home the bulletin" as proof we actually went to church. One evening this did not fit into my Saturday night plans. My older sister Paula let me in on the trick. You have your friend or boyfriend that you are going to be hanging with that night drive you by the church. You run in real fast, grab the bulletin and take off. This way you have the bulletin, but no one really knows that you didn't stay for the whole service. This trick has been passed down to all my sisters. I'm fairly positive that at some point all of us have done this. (If any of my sisters are reading this, I'm sorry for ratting you out. But I have to think that Mom already knows about this. Some how she knows everything!!)

When I moved to Indiana, I really didn't know a lot of people. The church is where I met a lot of my friends. I volunteered as a youth minister, help organize bake sales, all that good stuff. I was hoping that by doing this I could meet new people. Keeping in mind that this was MANY years ago... but when my ex-husband and I starting trying to have kids and were unsuccessful I turned to my friend Molly, whom I had met at the local Catholic church. Molly shared with me that she felt stuck in the Catholic church because of her husband. They too were struggling with infertility, but her husband wouldn't seek professional help, because in the eyes of the Catholic church, pursuing other options is frowned upon. She explained to me that the Catholic church believes that children that are not conceived the old fashion way were technically not children of God. She shared with me that if we pursued fertility treatments that our children would not be allowed to be baptised into the Catholic faith. I verified this with the Deacon and he confirmed what she was saying. I always knew that the Catholic church felt weird but this particular day was when I decided 100% that Catholicism was definitely not for me!!!

I do believe that there is only one God, and that different Churches chose to interpret and worship the bible in different ways. Since leaving the Catholic church I have found a new religious home and have met so many amazing woman through the church and my weekly bible study.

Ok, so that was a long story to get to my point..... I know that by now you are asking yourself.... What's the dilemma? A good friend of mines daughter is an angel at the midnight mass service this evening. They have asked me to join them. I have mixed feelings. If the Catholic church does not accept me, my husband and my babies, what's the point? But also, at the same time I don't want to hurt a 5 year old little girl. Am I just being selfish?? Probably, but I have really strong feelings about this!!


Miss Tori said...

Just think of it as a play that happens to be held at a church. If my friend's daughter invited me, I'd go, even though I'm not catholic.

I think that the relationship you have with God and Jesus is much more important than the relationship you have with a religion. Religion isn't going to save a person, regardless of which religion it is.

So I'd say go, enjoy the little girl's performance, and look at the pretty stained glass windows. Don't worry about whether their doctrines will accept you or not. God has!

Brenda said...

I agree with Miss Tori. It does not mean that you are going to have Catholicism rubbed off on you for going to a play.

Your babies are a blessing from God. You are so lucky to have your babies regardless of how they got there!! :o)

Leah is also Catholic and had problems getting pregnant and staying pregnant. She lost several babies, one that was buried. She finally has a beautiful little girl who will be 3 in Feb. You can see her journey here - Not without a million prayers and miracles but you should check it out!!!

Geoff said...

Personally I would go and, as Miss Tori said, imagine it is a play. I am as far from religious as one can get without being totally Athiest, but if a little kid that was a friend like that asked me to go I would. I might burst into flames when I walked it, but that would make it more interesting :)