Friday, April 24, 2009

Q & A....

Ok, so I decided earlier today during a phone call with a friend that today's blog would be a question & answer segment. We've received MANY questions from people and we just want to set the record straight. If I don't address your question please feel free to email me at: and I will do my best to answer it in a later blog. Both girls are doing great and there really isn't anything new to report so I thought today would be a great day to answer some questions.

1. Did you guys do fertility treatments? Yes, after trying for several years to have a family with no success, Terry & I decided that we would do whatever it took to have a child. We understood the potential of multiples. We just wanted our "own" child. (all the full details of our iui process can be read on earlier blog posts) For some reason as soon as you tell people that you have multiple babies that is their first question. It used to bother me but I think we both are just used to it by now.

2. How early were the babies? Contrary to popular belief....the girls were born at 27 weeks 5 days. Trust me....i know when the girls were implanted so I know exactly how far along I was.

3. "Why" were the babies born early? I only wish I could answer this question. I've gone over & over everything in my head a million times. I'm not God. Obviously he had a different plan than I did. I've finally come to accept the fact that having Addison & Alexis early was NOT my fault. Some may continue to blame me & that is their choice but ultimately God is in control of all and only time will explain his decisions.

4. Have you guys been allowed to hold the babies or do kangaroo care with them?
Yes, I got to hold the babies for the first time yesterday and then again today. Terry was going to hold the girls today, but was having some issues with one of his eyes. His eye was red, kinda swollen and itchy. Since the babies are so fragile he didn't want to take the chance of passing on any type of infection to them. We are hoping that tomorrow he will get to hold them. I'm just as excited for him to hold the babies as he is to actually do it. Kangaroo care is basically holding the baby with skin to skin contact. I take off my shirt and hold the girls directly on my chest. They love it as much as I do. Both girls seem to be very calm while I'm holding them. Their heart rates never drop or increase at all. It's such an amazing feeling, one that I think most mothers of full term babies take for granted. I would give up just about everything I own to have my girls at home with me and be able to hold them and kiss them whenever I please.

5. When will the babies get to come home? The goal is to have the girls home by their full term due date, which is July 7th.

6. Looking back now, don't you wish you had an amnio done? Absolutely not!!! Regardless of what an amnio may or may not have told us, Terry and I both knew how we felt about this. We NEVER would have done selective reduction or terminated one of our babies based on the results of an amnio. Regardless of what obstacles both our babies may be faced with in the future, it does not change the fact that we will love them NO MATTER WHAT!!! We were advised that doing an amnio on one baby could put the other at risk, so we opted not to do it on either.

7. What did you mean by your previous post when you said 2 1/2 babies? For those of you who haven't read our earlier posts....I was pregnant with triplets. Early into the pregnancy we found out that Baby C, who we have named Hope, no longer had a heart beat. This was a devastating day for us. No one can fully know the pain of having lost a child unless you have actually experienced it. While we know now that Hope's purpose is to be an Angel looking down on her sisters, we will never forget the fact that we are parents to three girls. Yes, I did actually deliver 3 babies, baby Hope was stillborn. For some reason it still bothers me when people call our girls twins, because technically they are not. I do realize that this is something that I will just have to learn to deal with. I just ask those of you who have already made your rude comments regarding my sensitivity to look at the situation from our point of view.

8. How did you decide on the girls names? Honestly, there really is no rhyme or reason to how we decided on their names. I heard the name Addison on a TV show about a year ago and loved it. When I ran it by Terry he was ecstatic about it. I now realize that Wrigley Field is on the corner of Addison St in Chicago. Trust me, if I had known this earlier I may have reconsidered. As far as Alexis goes....Terry picked her name out of a name book that his brother and sister in law had given us. The girls aren't named after anyone. We just liked the names. We really wanted to have a family name, but couldn't come up with anything great. We didn't think that Melba, Aloise, Mary Ann, Adolf, Marvin or Albert would have been good names in this day and age. If the girls had been boys their names would have been Gregory William and Carl Patrick.

9. Are the babies identical? As of right now we don't know the answer to that question. The placenta was sent out for lab testing after their birth. We were advised that the results of this testing takes 4-6 weeks. To look at the girls they have obvious differences. But as the girls develop they look more and more alike. Right now Addison has blonde hair, but we were told that this will probably all fall out since they were born so early. Alexis also has a full head of dark hair. Their little hats, that hold their c-pap in place, prevent you from seeing their hair.

10. Who do the girls look like? This is all a matter of opinion. I think that both girls look like Terry, especially Alexis. She has his nose and facial features. Addison also has her Daddy's nose. Terry seems to think that they look like me, but I don't see it? Every one who has seen the girls say they look like Terry.

Ok, I think that is all of the questions/answers I have for now. Like I said before, please feel free to email us if we didn't cover your question here today. We would rather people ask us than assume things that are not true. I'm sure that I've probably ruffled some feathers with my answers and please know that was never my intention.

I know I've said this 100 times, but we still ask for your continued prayers for our girls. While they have been having great days, we are no where near close to being out of the woods.


Jen said...

It is so good to see the girls getting bigger. Everytime I read about the accomplishments the girls are making, I let out a little cheer. Just wanted to let you know that I think of you guys daily. Again if there is absolutely anything we can do, let us know.

Lisa said...

Thanks for this post! Your girls are in my prayers.

Laura said...

Thanks for the update and the time it must have taken you to write all of that! We are so happy you FINALLY got to hold the girls, Yeah! Kiss them for Uncle Paul and I. Our love and prayers, Auntie and Uncle