Monday, June 15, 2009

Just some clarification....

I've been debating for awhile about actually posting this... I typed this entry about a month ago but never posted. It was just a therapeutic way for me to vent, but now I have reconsidered posting it. Before you take offense and get angry, I just ask you to place yourself in our shoes.

Many people have been talking and/or making comments about Terry and I allowing the girls to have visitors. First let me begin by saying a NICU is not a social hang out! We don't spend all day playing dress up with the girls or visiting with our friends. The NICU is a very scary, intimidating and heart breaking environment. There is a reason why our girls are still in a critical care area. They need protection from the outside world right now. Their immune systems are still not fully developed. By allowing just any one to enter the NICU would allow germs, bacteria and all kinds of horrible things to potentially corrupt all of the babies, not just ours. This is why there are rules about visitors. The first several weeks while the girls were still on high amounts of oxygen only immediate family was allowed to visit. This was the time when everyone was hounding us to see the girls. Unfortunately, the rules were beyond our control. We would have loved for our girls to experience a normal birth and to have been adored by all but this isn't how things went. Now that the girls are getting older and are generally thriving on their own, the girls can have visitors at our discretion. Most of the time when we have asked people to visit, it has been more for moral support than it has been to see the babies. Obviously this has been a very difficult time for us and every ones support is still appreciated. What is not appreciated is the comments being made about us sheltering our children. For those of you with children... Imagine if your son or daughter was in the hospital, wouldn't you do everything in your power to protect them? Right now the girls are still very delicate and outside distractions and noises really bother them. Our main priority is making sure that our girls know our voices and touch, not to show them off to the world. If this to you means that we are sheltering our babies then, so be it, but we will never apologize for doing what we think is in the best interest of our little girls.

Let me just share with you a story about the little boy who is next to the girls. His name is Noah. Noah was born on January 15th. Five months later he is still in the NICU. Noah got a really bad cold when he was four weeks old from a friend that his mother allowed to visit. Noah's cold turned into serious pneumonia and caused life long damage to his lungs. Noah is going to be finally going home in the next few weeks...but he will need the use of oxygen until he is strong enough to breath without it. Let me just ask you.....If you caused our girls to get sick, or even one of the other babies to get sick, because you brought in germs, could you ever forgive yourself? I know I couldn't. So if you still feel the need to judge Terry and I for trying to protect our precious Addison and Alexis then go right ahead. But we are only doing what any good parent would do.


Robin said...

Janet, you guys are awesome parents! I don't even know you irl but I've followed your blog since your BFP. I'm sorry some people can be so judgemental and hurtful. All I can say is that your priorities are in the right place- keeping your girls safe!!


Miss Tori said...

It's too bad people are putting their own selfish feelings above the health and safety of not only your girls, but every single premature infant in that NICU!

Good for you for sticking to your guns! If you won't protect your children, who will? Call the shots and don't let anyone guilt you.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with people making hurtful comments like that. As if you don't have enough on your plate already!

I'm thinking about you and the girls daily, and I look forward to when I can see them happy, healthy, and safely out of the NICU - at the appropriate time :o)

Anonymous said...

Hey guys it is more than awesome how you protect your girls you have to fight for them because they are not strong. I still with my daught at 3 who was a preemie protect my child from sick people. That is why she is NOT in daycare. I common sniffle turns to RSV, Laryngitis turn in to croup and closes thier airways off very scary stuff. The first year home we did not take her to Family Holidays we missed Thanksgiving and Christmas because of other children. Don't ever feel bad about keeping them save. Ceci grandparents did hold for 3months they could just look at her. And we let nobody come up and vist unless we were there to make sure people weren't sick. Keep up the good work and don't they you defences down when you get home. Ok sorry for the soap box but I feel ya 100%