YUCK!!!

Just a quick update on today's doctors appointment....

We started the morning with a fun and exciting glucose test. BLAH!!! For those of you who are not familiar with this process.... they give you a bottle full of glucose to drink(probably about the amount of a can of soda). This glucose substance is similar to drinking a substance about the same consistency of syrup but instead of tasting like syrup it tastes like really thick, goopy orange soda. (yes, goopy is very technical adjective!!) You have 5 minutes to drink this garbage. If you vomit or don't complete the process within 5 minutes you have to start over on a different day. I was able to drink my "orange goop" in just under 4 minutes. It was so gross that I was determined not to have to do it over. Yes, a little gagging did occur, but I managed to keep it down. You then have to wait one full hour and then have your blood drawn. This whole process is checking for gestational diabetes. I'm freaking out about having this, but that's a blog for another time!!! I should have results in 24 hours. If I actually have it, I will explain my issues, but I'm praying that I don't!

Then Terry and I went to breakfast before our eleven o'clock appointment with the OB. I forgot to mention that the gestational diabetes test required me not to eat anything after midnight. I seriously was so hungry!! These babies like their food...not to mention so do I!!! Anyway, this may come as a shock, but my doctor was again running late. Around 11:40 we see the doctor...let me not forget that my weigh in this week added another 4 pounds. I'm now up about 32 pounds....YIKES!! Dr. Cleary didn't do an ultrasound this time, which was so weird. Every appointment that we have had to date included an ultrasound. He listened to the babies heartbeats with some strange little device. Both babies were fired up. I'm sure that it had something to do with all the sugar I drank this morning doing the glucose test. Their heart rates were in the 170's. Here comes the kicker....the doctor said that the reason why he didn't want to do an ultrasound was because he was no longer concerned about keeping the babies in. He said that if my cervix shortens or begins to soften again (which is why I had the cerclage done 5 weeks ago) that we would just let the process of delivering the babies begin. THIS WAS MY HOLY CRAP MOMENT!!! It just doesn't seem right that we've made it to the point that they are no longer concerned about keeping the girls in utero. Obviously the longer they hang out, the less time they will have to spend in the hospital, but it still was kind of a shock to me. They will do one final ultrasound to measure the girls size and weight next week but we are no longer doing ultrasounds to measure the length of my cervix.

So, I'm sure I will have new ultrasound pictures to post next week....as well as picture of the nursery. I've been holding off on posting them, because we haven't received the bedding or the curtains yet. When I do post the pictures, I want you to be able to see the 100% full finished project. It looks great now, but both Terry and I are excited to see the fully finished project.

New dates to remember....
Tuesday, April 7th @ 3:00PM EST.....Ultrasound with maternal fetal medicine
Tuesday, April 14th @ 1:00 PM EST.....next OB appointment

Baby Shower #2--INDY SHOWER

Today was my local shower here in Indianapolis. It was so great to actually get out of the house!!! It did take every ounce of energy that I had to get ready, but it was totally worth it to escape the walls of my bedroom. Of course, since we live in the mid-west, it was snowing and blah outside. But I really didn't care I was just ecstatic to be free....well free for a couple hours anyway.

Above are a few pictures of the shower. We had a great turn out although we were expecting about eight more people. I received several text messages and voicemails early in the morning from friends who were sick and couldn't make it. I do know a bad case of the flu has been traveling around....probably due to the fact that one day it's 70 degrees outside and then the next day its snowing. I did find out later that four of them had won tickets to the NCAA basketball game downtown and didn't have the heart to tell me. Oh well. Not sure that I would have bailed on my friends baby shower but winning front row seats would have been hard for me to turn down too.

Just wanted to send a quick thanks to my hostesses....Sherri, Sue, Donna & Robin who did a great job of putting everything together. I'm so glad that I actually was able to attend one of my showers. My shower in Chicago is next weekend (April 4th) and I'm still really bummed out that I'm going to miss that one as well. This bed rest stuff is getting old!!!!

Thanks again Ladies!! I love you all!!!

Three years ago today.....

• OH what I wouldn't give to be back on that beach again right now!!! So many things have changed in the last three years!!! Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing! We've had our share of rough times and obstacles to overcome, but I couldn't think of any person I would rather go through life with! This year, thanks to bed rest and doctor restrictions, we will be celebrating our anniversary over Chinese food and an episode of American Idol. Fun Fun!!!
  
  So, I'm sure that you have figured out by now that my doctor did not lift my bed rest restrictions. We had an appointment this morning with the doctor at 11:00. I need to get used to the fact that my OB is never on time! I guess when you deliver babies all day it makes it difficult to maintain a schedule. But I hate waiting!!! Around 12:30ish we finally saw the doctor. He did an ultrasound of the girls and they both are looking great! My cervix is maintaining and it appears that the cerclage is doing it's job. This is good and bad news. The good news is that the babies are doing GREAT!!! The bad news is that I will be on bed rest until Addison and Alexis are born. While I know that this is definitely in the best interest of the girls, I'm not happy about spending another 2 1/2 months in bed. BLAH!!!
  
  Dr. Cleary did give me permission to attend our baby classes and my Indy baby shower, but he won't allow me to travel to Chicago for my baby shower there. I'm SOOO sad!!! Terry's going to attend the shower in my place. He's excited but I'm REALLY bummed!! I just have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason! It's very difficult to accept the fact that I'm gonna have to stay in this bed for another 10-12 weeks but the reward is going to be totally worth it!!!
  

The boredom of bed rest....

So, not much new to report since my last post, but I thought that I would do a quick update. Things are going well, I think. I'm feeling good, most days with the exception of being totally bored out of my mind!!! It sounds nice at first..... laying in bed all day, watching tv, being brought your meals....until you can't do the littlest things without help from others. It becomes very boring and very aggravating extremely quick!!! Seriously, how many judge shows are needed on tv? And does every talk show do DNA testing everyday? BLAH!! Trust me it gets old very quickly!

I think the worst thing so far is trying to keep a positive attitude. Last weekend it was 75 degrees outside. Terry opened up the windows. I could hear the neighbors kids out playing, riding bikes, jumping rope and just the general squeals that kids make while playing. It's so hard knowing that I can't be outside. And to make matters worse....last weekend was supposed to be my first baby shower back home. So, on top of not being able to enjoy a nice day outside with the rest of the world, I was missing my first baby shower. Not being able to celebrate our little Angel Babies with our family and friends pushed me over the top. I think Saturday was when I really broke down and had my own little pity party.

Everyone I talk to asks me how I'm doing. My typical response is, "I'm doing good, just really bored". Several people have responded with saying, I would love to be able to spend two weeks doing nothing. Ok, so let me put this into perspective for you..... For two weeks, you must lie flat on your back. The only time you are allowed to get up is to use the bathroom and to take a shower. Your shower time is limited to 30 minutes. This includes every minute from the time you get out of bed until the time you lay back down. So, showering, blow drying your hair, everything must be completed within 30 minutes. You are only allowed to be standing or upright for 30 minutes once a day. You can't get up to get a glass of water because you aren't allowed to walk down the stairs. If you want something you have to scream at the top of your lungs to get someones attention and then you have to wait until they bring it to you. Being the totally independent person that I am, this totally sucks!!! There really is no other way to describe it!!! While I have to give Terry major kudos for taking care of everything, it is awful not being able to do anything on my own. I guess bed rest at home is much better than bed rest in the hospital!!!

While I totally love my husband, it would be nice to interact with other people besides him. I know he is getting just as bored with me as I am of him. I can tell that I'm starting to get on his nerves, but I'm trying to be the best patient as possible, but when I'm not allowed to do anything on my own, it makes it very hard!! I've had a few visitors here and there which is always a welcome surprise for both of us. Terry and I both really enjoy this. It gives him a chance to duck out for an hour or so without having to stress about whether or not I'm going to be ok, plus it gives me an opportunity to talk to someone different for a change. We have some great friends who have brought over meals, sent flowers, cards etc. For them we are extremely grateful. I'm not sure what we would do without our family and friends.

Ok, I'm done gripping for now. At this point we just pray that everything is still going well when we go to the doctor on Wednesday, the 18th. (which is also our 3rd wedding anniversary, what I wouldn't give to be back on that beach right now!!!) We try to be optimistic that he will lift some of the restrictions and that both our Angel girls are still growing strong!!

On a separate note, I have to give my family back home major props, for having my baby shower without me. (pictures to come later) While this was super sad for me, my 'lil sis Sandy did a great job of putting together a video of the shower. I was able to see our family and friends in attendance and all the adorable gifts that we received. My mom mailed me all the cards and the dvd of the shower. Her sending that was one of the few things that has been able to pull me out of my funk lately. So, I've been working on my thank you notes for while, it's a slow process since I can't lay on my left side for very long due to some issues with my ribs but it definitely gives me something to do.

I'm sure I will have my next post on Wednesday after our doctors appointment. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL!!!

Cont. From yesterday...

Sorry about that, yesterday was a rough day for me. All the drugs had finally worn off and I felt like I had been run over by a bus.

Ok, so where did I leave off? After Dr. Summner came in he told me that my cervix was barely measuring at a 1. For multiples they want it to measure at 2.5 or higher. He called my regular OB immediately to find out what they wanted to do about it. Again, with more waiting!! By this time it's close to 4:30 and I'm getting really irritated because no one is fully explaining to me what is going on. Plus, anyone who knows me, knows that I hate waiting. So, Dr. Summner comes back in the room and says that Dr. Cleary (my regular OB) wants to see me IMMEDIATELY! Luckily, their offices are pretty much next door to each other. We walk next door and again.....You guessed it.... WE WAIT!! By this time I'm pretty much freaked out and really ticked off that no one will tell me what the &%#@! is going on.

At about 4:45 I get called back to a room. And more waiting!!! Finally around 5:20 Dr. Cleary shows up. He explains to me what is going on and basically told me that they need to sew up my cervix to hold the babies in. He explained to us that if they don't do this, I will no doubt deliver the babies way too early. He said that based on the ultrasounds done today, that both girls look great and he wants to keep them that way. He explains the urgency and says that his first choice would be to go home and spend time with his own family, but he feels strongly that this needs to be done asap.

So, around 5:30 Terry and I find ourselves walking next door to the hospital and filling out registration forms. By 6:15 I'm being wheeled into a delivery room, given a spinal tap (totally not enjoyable by the way) and having surgery.

Let me just tell you, a spinal tap is the strangest feeling in the world! The anesthesiologist said it would feel like a bee sting in my back. Well, I don't know what kind of bees he has ever been bitten by, but it felt like a hell of a lot more than a bee sting. It took about 60 seconds and boom... I had no feeling from the waste down. When they put the needle in my back for the spinal tap I was sitting on the table with my feet hanging over the side. After I went numb, they asked me to help them lay me down flat on my back. REALLY? They wanted me to help assist them with putting my legs flat on the table. I'm thinking seriously people?? Looking back now, I'm pretty sure that they were just checking to make sure I was totally numb.

So, I'm wide awake with my legs straight up in the air, having a conversation with an anesthesiologist who smells like Old Spice cologne. Other than smelling like an old man he was pretty cool. We were talking about St. Louis, the Cardinals and the Arch, he also used to live in the St. Louis area. And before I knew it, I was in recovery. I remember looking at the clock and at 6:50 Dr. Cleary told me he was going to go talk to Terry and bring him back.

Meanwhile, a cardiologist shows up around 7:00 to perform an EKG on me. I'm trying to figure out why this is happening and this guy (who is wearing scrubs that are about 3 sizes too big)explains to me that the anestesiologist saw something abnormal during the surgery and that they want to check out. Again with more freaking out! And I'm still trying to figure out where Terry is.

So, I'm hooked up to an EKG and a nurse comes in with an ultrasound machine to check out the babies and make sure that they are doing ok. I'm still trying to figure out where Terry is because I wanted him to have the same re-assurance that I'm getting that the babies are still doing great! NO TERRY???

The EKG guy and the ultrasound lady both leave. The EKG guy said everything was fine but they would continue to monitor me. Looking back now, I'm fairly sure that my abnormal heart rhythms were due to the fact that I was already shaken up from the stress of the day and the fact that it was 30 degrees below zero in the operating room. I couldn't stop shaking because I was so cold. The ultrasound lady said the girls did great. One of the babies was just hanging out with her hand on her head and the other looked like she was training for a boxing match.

By this time it's about 7:30, I'm still trying to figure out where Terry is. Finally, I grab a nurse and ask her where my husband is. The nurse thought the doctor was going to bring him back and the doctor thought the nurse was going to come get him after my EKG. Well, neither one ever did and Terry was sitting in the waiting room just as freaked out as I was.

So, Long story I know. We get to my room for the evening around 8:15. We started to watch American Idol and I pretty much passed out. Thank goodness for tivo. I was released the next morning around 11:00ish only to be put on strict bed rest. This makes me very sad since I won't be able to travel home to Missouri this weekend for my first baby shower. But I know that it is in the best interest of my girls. I'm also struggling to figure out how we are going to afford this, but I have to continue to remind myself that God will provide.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

So, Tuesday started just like any other normal doctors appointment day. Terry and I were scheduled to meet for another high risk ultrasound at 2:30. We met at the office and after 30 minutes of waiting we were called back (around 3:00ish). The ultrasound technician started the process of scanning each baby and checking things out. She again confirmed (this time 100%) that both babies are still girls. (see pictures)

Shortly after making sure that the babies are looking great the doctor rolled in. By the way, the CPC on baby B is completly gone!!! AMEN FOR THAT!!!! Dr. Summner just wanted to do some quick measurements on my cervix to make sure that everything is still looking good.

Long story short, I ended up in emergency surgery having a cerclage put in. Full details to follow. Sorry I'm on full bed rest now and it's taking a lot out of me to finish this. I will complete this blog....hopefully tomorrow.

Just like their Dad...

We have a built in stereo in the bathroom that usually is set on the local 70's-80's channel because that is primarily what Terry listens to all the time. I was laying in the bath trying to relieve the constant pain in my lower back when both babies start moving around like crazy and kicking me pretty consistently. Then it stopped for a few minutes and then it started again. I think the babies already have developed their own taste in music. The first song that got them all hyped up was "Do you feel like we do" by Peter Frampton and the second song that got them moving was the live version of "In the air tonight" by Phil Collins. I'm not sure if they were moving around and kicking me because they actually like the songs or because they were unhappy with the songs. Terry seems to think that they were dancing to the music. He says that he likes both of those songs so his girls have great taste in music already, just like their Dad!!!

Alexis & Addison's latest update....

Yep, we have decided on names for our girls. Addison Grace & Alexis Faith. We knew Addison was our girls name from the beginning but we finally decided/agreed on Alexis yesterday while waiting in the doctors office.

Our appointment went well. No new pictures to post (insert sad face here). Our OB just basically wanted to check my cervix and make sure that everything is still going well. Due to some family history (all my sisters hate this hereditary stuff!!!), the doctor is following me pretty closely to make sure my cervix can withstand both babies (too much information, I know).

He did a real quick ultrasound to make sure that both babies are still there, that their heartbeats are strong, and that they are continuing to grow. According to my weight gain, they are growing like wild flowers!!! I'm up 10.5 pounds since my appointment last month. Bringing total weight gain to about 17 pounds. Dr. Cleary said that I should gain about 2-3 pounds a week, from here on out. YIKES!!!

My only major freak out so far has been this annoying as hell, vericous vein in my right leg. Which until yesterday, I was convinced was a major blood clot that was going to make me lose my leg. Yes, I am well aware of the fact that this makes me sound like a major drama queen but if you could have seen my leg, you would have been scared too!! Again, thanks to the Flanigan hereditary genes, I'm battling a ginormous vericous vein in my right leg. It runs about 3 inches down my leg and is about 1/4 of an inch wide. SUPER GROSS!!!! Some days it's black and some days it's purple. The doc convinced me that this is nothing to be concerned about. He said that if the vein becomes red, swollen and hot to the touch then I need to go to the ER immediately. He said that I would much rather have swollen veins in my leg as opposed to other areas of my body. He basically was referring to hemmeroids. (AGAIN WITH THE TMI!!!) So, I have to agree with him there!

Oh, and we did finally finish our baby registry at Babies 'r' Us yesterday afternooon, thanks to a ton of help from my mother in law. I feel very fortunate that both of Terry's siblings have had girls. They have been giving us all of their clothes and Terry's sister, Gretchen has twin girls as well. She has given us a TON of baby stuff!!! We never will fully be able to show them our gratitude for helping us out, but it's nice to know that clothing is one expense we never will have to worry about. I also appreciate all the advice as to what items are garbage and what items to pay just a little extra for to get better quality.

Other than that, not much else new to report. The nursery process is still at a hault. But hopefully, we will be able to recruit some help this weekend to move furniture.

New dates to remember:
Specialty Ultrasound Tuesday, March 3rd @ 2:30 EST
OB appointment Wednesday, March 18th @ 11:00 EST

SO CUTE!!

So, my family in St. Louis is hosting my first baby shower (Saturday, March 7th). Terry's family is hosting one in Chicago (Saturday, April 4th) and my beautiful friend Sherry is going to host one in Indianapolis (probably May 2nd or 3rd).

My 'lil sis, Karen designed the shower invite for my Missouri shower. It's super cute!!! Although, she describes it as "nothing special" I think she did a great job. (See the above picture)

Doesn't it seem so unrealistic that I'm over half way??? I can't hardly believe it!!! Although it doesn't seem real yet, I'm excited to finally start really celebrating our little miracle babies with family and friends. Yes, our showers are very early, but this was done so that I will actually be able to travel to them. We appreciate everyone taking my health and the health of our daughters into consideration when planning these.

On another note:

The decorating of the nursery has officially begun. Anyone who knows my procrastinator husband, knows that he's a great painter/decorator, but things must go at his pace. Which nine times out of ten is pretty equal to a snails pace. My downstairs powder room took almost 3 months to paint. So, I knew that we needed to start this process very early.

We have two spare rooms which both are 14x16. Just to make my explanations easy, we call one room the blue room and one room the white room. We decided to make the room with the walk in closet the nursery(the white room). Both rooms have furniture in them right now, but one set of furniture is obviously better than the other. So, we need to take the furniture from the blue room (the not so good stuff) down to the basement, and move the furniture from the white room into the blue room. This process started on Sunday, but Terry quickly found out that he can not do it alone. Obviously, I can not help so we are waiting for some friends to come over and help out. Once the furniture moving is done the painting shall commence. I will post pictures and updates of this process once it begins.

I was able to clean out the closet and transfer the stuff/junk from one closet to the other over the weekend. Although it's been a slow process, I'm OK with it. I still worry on a daily basis that something may potentially happen and we will be left with an empty baby nursery. So right now, I think baby steps is the best way to proceed!! As I learned in my readings this week.... God makes things beautiful in its own time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) so I will patiently wait for it's completion.

Think PINK!!!

Well, our ultrasound technician today said that she is 90-95% sure that we are having two girls!!! My mother-in-law is not convinced, but 95% is good enough from me!

All in all, everything looks good, but Baby B has a small situation. She has what is called choroid plexus cysts on her brain. I know... You are asking yourself what the heck is a choroid plexus cyst. According to my informational brochure this is verbatim what it says:

A "choroid plexus" is a structure found inside the brain. There are two on either side of the brain. A choroid plexus makes the fluid that bathes the spinal cord and brain. Sometimes a fluid-filled area called a "cyst" forms inside the choroid plexus and is called a "choroid plexus cyst" or "CPC". Sometimes only one choroid plexus cyst is seen and sometimes more are seen. Also, choroid plexus cysts may come in different sizes. Regardless, most choroid plexus cysts disappear by the third trimester of pregnancy. It is thought that about 1% to 2% of babies have CPC identified during prenatal ultrasounds. Usually these cysts DO NOT cause problems with the baby's health including no effect on brain function. These cysts are usually normal variations in anatomy. It is scary to hear the words cyst and brain when referring to your baby, but please remember that the cysts themselves do not cause problems for the baby. As a matter of fact, on autopsies done on humans, many choroid plexus cysts are found. This means that at any given time in our life, we may also have a choroid plexus cyst that comes and goes. Now, you may be wondering why you are even told about these cysts. It is thought that, rarely, babies with CPC may have chromosome problems. Because of this association, it is important for you to be informed of the cysts and of your options for prenatal testing.

Ok, so that's what a CPC is. Having further testing done (ie. an amniocentesis) is very risky with a multiple pregnancy. We have opted to wait until our next appointment (February 17th) and re-evaluate the situation at that point. There is nothing that can be done to treat CPC, so we have just decided that at this point we are placing it into God's hands and we trust that he will help guide us into making the right decisions.

Stop talking about peanut butter!!!

So, I'm really trying to enjoy this pregnancy and not be one of those pregnant woman who complain non-stop. Terry and I went through so much to get these babies, that we both want to enjoy every minute of it.

With that being said... I really wish that all the talk about the peanut butter recall would stop!!! The more I hear about it, the more I really want a huge pb & j sandwich, peanut butter crackers, peanut butter ice cream... pretty much anything with peanut butter in it sounds really awesome right now!!! I haven't really experienced the whole "cravings" thing yet, but I do find that the power of suggestion really motivates my hunger. If someone suggests that a Big Mac sounds really good right now then I also feel the need to eat a Big Mac. Yesterday, someone in my office had Taco Bell for lunch. I called Terry and told him to take some hamburger out of the freezer because I was going to make tacos for dinner. I feel like all I ever do is eat!!! Literally, I wake up in the middle of the night because my stomach is growling. No kidding!!! Even though I have only gained 3 pounds so far, I feel like a hippopotamus. I feel and look very round!!! (pictures to come soon)

On a separate note... I actually slept a full 5 hours last night without having to get up to use the restroom. I think that's a record!!

The results are in....Well, Kind of anyway...

OK, so we had another ultrasound today. Both of the babies look great!!! Man, they have grown so much in the last month. We could see all their little fingers and little toes. So cute!!! But I'm kind of a little bummed that they didn't give me pictures this time.

Baby A was moving around like crazy and appears to be a GIRL!!!

Baby B was just hanging out and waving at us like last time. Unfortunately, Baby B did not want any part of showing us it's private areas!

So, we will try again in two weeks. We have another specialty ultrasound scheduled at the maternal fetal medicine place. These specialty ultrasounds are incredibly amazing. You can see every single bone in their bodies. It's very cool but also a little creepy at the same time. We should definitely know the sexes with that ultrasound.

Dates to remember.....
Specialty Ultrasound..... Tuesday, January 27th @ 11:00 EST
Next Ob Appointment...Thursday, February, 19th @ 1:00 EST

Heat Wave...

Ok, so to all my blogger buddies who have complained about how it's only 50 degrees today in Florida or to the ones who have whined about how it's soooo miserably hot in California at 90+ degrees.... let me just share that the official temperature in Indiana right now is a whopping -4. This is a major improvement from the -18 that it was on my way to work this morning.

Terry is super cute. He called me on his way home from an appointment about 11:30ish. He told me to make sure that I keep his kids warm, because it's too cold for them to be outside. I think he's starting to come around a little more about being the Daddy of multiples. I'm hoping that tomorrow will help even more!!! I can't hardly wait! We both are super excited to see our babies again and to hopefully find out the genders!!! Until then....

P.S./PART TWO OF THIS POST:

The heat in my building at work is struggling to keep up since it is so cold outside. It's around 68 degrees in here. If it gets much colder I'm going to head home for the day. But I just had the most amazing cup of hot chocolate!!! Yes, I know, caffeine, chocolate, sugar, all that stuff is bad, but I couldn't help it!! YUMMMM!!! It was so incredible. Have I mentioned that I'm hungry and thirsty 99.9% of the time? That's a blog for another time!

Can't hardly wait....

ok, so T-minus 4 days and counting. Our next ultrasound is scheduled for this Friday, the 16th at 11:45 EST. I can't hardly wait to find out the genders of the babies. I'm anxious to start decorating, but I'm also a little apprehensive. I think that if everything goes well with this next appointment, I will finally be able to relax a little.

I've added a poll (to the right) just for fun. I'm curious to see what everyone things the genders will be. Trust me, I will update my page as soon as we find out!!!

Other than being really excited, nothing much new to post. I'm feeling really "round" lately. I hope to get my camera up and running soon, so I can post my latest picture of the "baby bump".

Sick....

Here's a real quick post...

I've been getting emails and texts from people asking where I've been. I've been home in bed. Sick with a double ear infection and strep throat. Sounds like fun huh? Anyone who says yes, I will give it to you with much pleasure!!!

I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday. Normally, I would suck it up and deal with it, but since I'm not only taking care of myself anymore, I went to the doctor.

Pretty much there is nothing that they can do. My OB doesn't want me on anti-biotics, because they can mess with the other meds I'm on. So, I just get to hang out and feel miserable....which I really could have done without having to make a trip to the doctor.

I'm hoping this goes away soon! I'm not sure how much longer my poor nose can deal with all of the sneezing!!!

Other than being sick, absolutely nothing else going on. My next doctors appointment is scheduled for Friday, the 16th. Hopefully, we will know the sexes of the babies then!!

Super Human Senses....

Wow! First post of 2009. It honestly seems like just yesterday, Terry and I were on the beach in Florida getting married. What I wouldn't give to be back on that beach right now!! I hate cold weather!! When we win the lottery we are packing up the kids and moving some place warm!! But I digress...

Our new years celebration was extremely uneventful. We went on a power shopping trip trying to find a gift for my niece's birthday party tomorrow. I honestly can not spend five hours shopping like I used to. So, when I was able to hold on for an hour and a half while we went to three different stores, I was very pleased. We still didn't find what she wanted but I did find several other things I've been meaning to pick up.

After our shopping trip, we ran through the drive thru at KFC. (See, I told you it was uneventful) We had our chicken dinner ("winner, winner chicken dinner", a quick reference from the movie 21) and chilled at home for the remainder of the evening. Honestly, I think that I was probably asleep by 9:30. Actually, 9:30 is really good for me. Most evenings I can't manage to keep my eyes open past 8:00. So, I crashed for several hours until my neighbors dog began parking incessantly. The dog started barking around 2:15am and was still barking at 3:30a.m. GRRRR!!! I hate outside animals!!! Granted since becoming pregnant I have developed what Terry refers to as "super human hearing" but this dog is really becoming a huge pain in my @!+$!!!! Why people own animals and keep them locked up on six foot chains is beyond me. My neighbors don't speak English, so I'm thinking about taking up Spanish, just so I can learn how to tell them to shut their dog up!

Besides having super human hearing I also have the acquired an acute sense of smell. I can smell the people on the third floor of our office building popping their afternoon popcorn. (I'm on the first floor) I can smell anyone cooking anything on a barbeque grill from a mile away. Pretty much if there was an entry in the Guiness Book of World Records, for the person who could smell the most from farthest away, I'm fairly positive I would win. Although, the guys in the office have confirmed that there is no such record, we did find the record for most births by one woman.... The greatest recorded number of children born to one mother is 69, to the first wife of Feodor Vassilyev (Russia). In 27 pregnancies between 1725 and 1765 she gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. Only two of the children failed to survive their infancy. The mother also holds the records for giving birth to the most sets of twins and the most sets of quadruplets. In my opinion, those people are officially insane!! How any one could go through this process 27 times must be crazy!!! Trust me I'm not complaining.....I actually feel very blessed to be pregnant, but you can rest assured that I won't be trying to break that record anytime soon!!

Best wishes for a happy and healthy 2009 to you all!!

HUGE can of worms.....

OK, so apparently my previous post about my issues with the Catholic church has really upset numerous people. I've received several emails in regards to my post....some emails supporting my views and many others explaining to me why I'm wrong. While I appreciate the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I REFUSE to accept or admit the fact that anything Terry or I did to become parents was wrong!!! I will NOT confess to any sin by seeking medical help to become a parent!!! Granted I've done many awful things in my life, and by no means am I without sin. But I in no way believe that seeking medical assistance is a sin!!!

One out of every six American couples will face difficulty getting pregnant, yet their cries go unheard. The desire for a child is all-consuming. The hurt is constant. The struggle is hard and the answers are unclear. What I do feel is clear.... is that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and understands our pain. Throughout scripture we see many couples who begged God for a child. Some pleas were granted and some were not. We have been blessed to have our prayers answered!!!

I refuse to apologize for my opinions and beliefs. By no means am I saying that I believe that my way is the only way. It is just what I personally believe. Someday I would like to be able to discuss the journey Terry & I went through with our children. I don't want to put them into a position to think or feel that their conception was sinful.

Just an after Christmas update....

Nothing really exciting to post... No doctors appointments lately, which actually has been kind of nice. We go back on January 16Th for our next check up.

The babies already received Christmas gifts this year. I know...Terry's Mom is a little obsessive about shopping. But they did get some really neat Disney things for their room. Terry and I went shopping over the weekend and got some really GREAT deals!! We went to Old Navy's after Christmas sale. I spent $47 and got almost $300 worth of maternity clothes. I finally broke down and had to buy some maternity pants. After spending a couple of weeks trying to cram my rear end into my regular clothes, I decided it was finally time. I also got several really nice maternity sweaters for Christmas. Other than that, our Christmas was rather uneventful....just the typical screaming of kids being overtired and super excited.

Just a quick update on my previous post..... I did sort of attend the mid-night service. Being that I can barely stay awake past 9:00pm, I wasn't quite sure how I would make it through a mid-night mass. I went at 11:30 for the children's service and then I bolted for several reasons.

1. I didn't think that my snoring would be appropriate during a church service.

2. See my previous post about my current issues with the Catholic Church

3. I'm fairly certain that the odor of the incense would definitely have made me vomit.

We did also make a quick stop by Babies 'r' Us just to check some things out. We have been a little leery of buying things for the babies yet, but if everything goes well with our next appointment we are going to start painting and decorating the nursery. We've narrowed down our selection for the cribs. Terry has chosen one and I have chosen another. Above are pictures, let us know which one you like best!! We need help deciding! (I'm not going to tell you who chose which crib. I don't want that to influence any ones choice) The top crib looks black in the picture but it is actually cherry. (I tried to post the pictures below this blog, but apparently I'm not smart enough to figure out how to do that????)

To go OR Not to go???

OK, I'm faced with a small dilemma today. But first, let me give you a little background about me. I'm sure that most of you already know this, but I was raised in a strong Catholic family. Every Saturday evening at 5:15 promptly, we would all pile into the car and head to church. Growing up I attended all the religion classes, made my first confession, communion, and confirmation. Even though, to this day, I feel that it is ridiculous to ask a 13 year old child to make a lifelong commitment to the church, I did it because that's what I was told to do. Church to me was always a requirement and a obligation, not a choice. At some point, all of my sisters have pulled the "bring home a bulletin" trick. If my parents couldn't attend mass on Saturday and we still chose to, we were told to "bring home the bulletin" as proof we actually went to church. One evening this did not fit into my Saturday night plans. My older sister Paula let me in on the trick. You have your friend or boyfriend that you are going to be hanging with that night drive you by the church. You run in real fast, grab the bulletin and take off. This way you have the bulletin, but no one really knows that you didn't stay for the whole service. This trick has been passed down to all my sisters. I'm fairly positive that at some point all of us have done this. (If any of my sisters are reading this, I'm sorry for ratting you out. But I have to think that Mom already knows about this. Some how she knows everything!!)

When I moved to Indiana, I really didn't know a lot of people. The church is where I met a lot of my friends. I volunteered as a youth minister, help organize bake sales, all that good stuff. I was hoping that by doing this I could meet new people. Keeping in mind that this was MANY years ago... but when my ex-husband and I starting trying to have kids and were unsuccessful I turned to my friend Molly, whom I had met at the local Catholic church. Molly shared with me that she felt stuck in the Catholic church because of her husband. They too were struggling with infertility, but her husband wouldn't seek professional help, because in the eyes of the Catholic church, pursuing other options is frowned upon. She explained to me that the Catholic church believes that children that are not conceived the old fashion way were technically not children of God. She shared with me that if we pursued fertility treatments that our children would not be allowed to be baptised into the Catholic faith. I verified this with the Deacon and he confirmed what she was saying. I always knew that the Catholic church felt weird but this particular day was when I decided 100% that Catholicism was definitely not for me!!!

I do believe that there is only one God, and that different Churches chose to interpret and worship the bible in different ways. Since leaving the Catholic church I have found a new religious home and have met so many amazing woman through the church and my weekly bible study.

Ok, so that was a long story to get to my point..... I know that by now you are asking yourself.... What's the dilemma? A good friend of mines daughter is an angel at the midnight mass service this evening. They have asked me to join them. I have mixed feelings. If the Catholic church does not accept me, my husband and my babies, what's the point? But also, at the same time I don't want to hurt a 5 year old little girl. Am I just being selfish?? Probably, but I have really strong feelings about this!!

Quick Dr's Appointment update....

Had another appointment today. I feel like I live at doctor's offices. We met our high risk guy who will be delivering our babies. I have to say, that I really like this guy. My appointment was at 11:00 and we didn't leave until almost 1:30. I had 100 (no exaggeration) questions and he sat patiently with me and answered every single one. We had another ultrasound today(#4 or maybe this is #5, I'm losing count already). The babies look good and were really active. I think we may have a couple gymnasts on our hands. One of the babies kept doing flips. The other one looked like it was scratching its head.
Obviously, the third baby is still there but doesn't do anything. It will no longer continue to grow nor will it take any nutrients from the other two. The doctor assures me that it will have no affect on the health of the other babies. It will remain the same size & shape that it is now.
Yes, we are still having triplets, but we only will be bringing two home from the hospital (God willing). I actually will give birth to three babies. For some reason, when people say "well, it's twins now" that really bothers me. In our hearts, We always will be parents to triplets. Our baby 'Hope' just decided to make her way to heaven without gracing us with her presence first.

Funny Cartoon....

I just thought I would share. This has been the only thing that has come even remotely close to making me smile today.

Just remember....God has a plan for you!! Right??

Here's the low down.... We had another ultrasound this morning. This one was with a maternal fetal medicine specialist. Basically, they just have more high tech equipment.

Baby A..... She (at least that's my opinion) was being very camera shy. She was rolling around and kept turning away from the camera. As you can tell from the picture, she didn't want any part of this. I'm guessing she is just like me and doesn't enjoy having to get up so early for doctors appointments. She has a strong heart beat and according to the doctor looks very healthy.

Baby B..... He (again, this is only my opinion) was all about being in the spotlight. You can somewhat see it in the picture, but he was waving at us. It was super cute!! He also was moving around like crazy. Baby B also has a strong heart beat and is healthy.

Baby C.... This is the bad part. Baby C no longer has a heart beat and has made her way to heaven. We have no idea what happened or what caused this.... but I again just have to keep telling myself that ultimately only God knows the plan for our family. I'm trying so hard not to question my faith right now but it's so incredibly hard.

My three crabs.....

ok, maybe not the most appropriate title for this blog, but at least i'm making an attempt at humor now.....

We saw the RE for the last time today. It's kind of bittersweet. I love all the amazing ladies at Midwest Fertility and I will miss the security that I have with them. But now it's onto the high risk ob/gyn.

I had another ultrasound today to see my little three. And yes, at this point they look like crabs. Dr. Reuter said that everything looks great. All babies (aka babies A, B & C) have strong heart beats and measure approx. 1/2 inch each. She said everything looks normal and at this point everyone appears to be right on schedule.

So, my next step is seeing a maternal fetal medicine and genetics specialist for another ultrasound on the 12th and then I meet with the high risk ob and his team on the 15th.

I hope that each and everyone of you have a great Thanksgiving!! We have a ton to be thankful for this year!!!

My new words to live by...

JEREMIAH 29:11

New Living Translation (NLT)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

The Message (MSG)
10-11This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

HOLY CRAP!!! (it's the only appropriate title for this blog!!!)

OK, so today was/is the big day!!! We went this morning at 11:15 for our first ultrasound. I immediately saw two sacs on the screen and what kind of looked like a third.

The doctor checked the first one(aka baby A).....good strong heart beat.

She moved onto the second(aka baby B).....another good strong heart beat.

Then she looked at the little small sac that she originally thought was nothing....and yep, another good strong heart beat(aka baby C). The third one is smaller than the other two, but has the strongest and highest heart rate.

I'm not sure what else to say at this point. I'm having trouble formulating complete sentences let alone composing a blog. Terry and I are both still in shock. Give me a couple of days to let it sink in and I will post more.

T-minus two hours and Counting.....

Ok, so I just wanted to do a small "pre-post" this morning. I have to give my boss, Andy, major kudos for being super cool.

I've left out a lot of the small details in my postings. During the whole IUI process, I went to the doctor almost everyday. I either had blood work, and ultrasound or both everyday or every other day. Most of the time I was able to schedule my appointments early enough to make it to work on time. But there were several times that I was 15-30 minutes late because the office was running behind.

So, I'm sure that everyone knows that my ultrasound is at 11:15 EST today. I'm basically just taking a long lunch and Terry is meeting me at the office. Andy told me to take my time and go out and have lunch with Terry afterwards. I'm so lucky to have a boss who is so flexible. Making the switch between agents almost 4 years ago was very difficult for me, but I've never regretted it for one moment!!!

Just a thought....

Revelations 3:8

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! 'The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close. If you need God to open, some doors for you...remember what your knees are for. Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing...

I think it's gonna stick!!!

Ok, so I had my second BETA test yesterday. Yes, my RE's office is open on Sundays. Blood work came back at 711!!! The nurse said that is a fabulous number.

My first ultrasound is schedule for 11-19. So, hopefully then I will be able to finally believe it. I'm still a little freaked out about the fact that we have the potential for multiples, but God won't dump more on me than I can handle, right??

OMG!!!!

Ok, so after taking 6 HPT's (all postitive), I had my BETA this morning. I'm 307!!

I don't think that I really believe it yet! I go back on Sunday for another round of bloodwork. Maybe then I will believe it.

Thank you so much to all the ladies who have walked me thru this and for each and every one of your prayers!!!

The most amazing feeling was hearing the sound of my husbands voice when I told him. His response..."wow, I'm gonna be a Dad".

Praise God!!! My only path to peace on this journey with infertility has been my relationship with God. He showed me things i never would have seen without Him, and taught me lessons I never could have learned!

More waiting.... GRRRRR!!!

Ok, so... yes you guessed it.... I took another HPT this morning when I got up. POSITIVE!!!
So, I just got the official blood work done at the doctors office. And now we wait. This process has been extremely stressful, but in the end, if it works... all the waiting will be totally worth it. I know that they close at noon today so I will have some idea of what's going on before then.

I have a death grip on my cell phone and I'm praying harder than I ever have before!!!!

Reminder & note to self: GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! ULTIMATELY, HE KNOWS WHAT YOUR JOURNEY ENTAILS.

I keep reminding myself the words of my beautiful friend Robin.....Put your faith in the Lord...lean not on your own understanding! It is all going to work out!

I'm starting to get excited...

ok, so I had sales meetings all afternoon yesterday. I got home early (like 4:30), I pee'd on a stick again. POSITIVE!!!

I talked to my sister last night. Being a nurse, she said that she won't believe it until I use my first pee of the morning. (sorry too much info, I know) So, I did it again this morning POSITIVE AGAIN!!!

So, I think that it worked!!! I'm still trying not to get too excited because I've been in this position before and then It went away. So, I'm anxiously counting the hours until my appointment tomorrow!!!

Terry's starting to get excited too. This morning when he kissed me good bye, he rubbed my belly and said I love you. I almost wanted to cry. We both want this so much!!

Maybe???

ok, so I caved. I had to run to CVS to pick up my prenatal vitamin rx. I had to walk right by the prego tests to get to the pharmacy in the back of the store. Yes, I know what you are thinking! I said I wasn't going to do it. But big shocker... I bought one. I went directly back to the office and pee'd on the stick. It was positive. My iui was on 10-17 & 10-18 and my BETA is on Friday 10-31. Is it too soon for me to actually be getting a positive reading? My RE warned me about false positives.... but I think that I just wanted to see what a positive actually looked like. I'm trying not to get my hopes up just in case, but It would be really great if God has decided to bless me with this miracle.

I did a first response digital hpt. The little tiny hourglass flashes for what feels like days and then it says pregnant or not pregnant. This one was flashing and while I was washing my hands and refreshing my lipstick I looked over and it said "pregnant". So, It didn't even take the full 3 minutes. I'm kinda kicking myself for not waiting, because I really want to be super excited, but I don't want to celebrate too soon!!

More waiting.....

OK, so we had a great weekend...

I took Terry to a local pumpkin patch & corn maze. Can you believe that a 42 year old man has never been to a pumpkin patch? He blames it on growing up in Chicago. Even though we had a great time together, it was still kinda sad. Everyone on the hayride to the pumpkin patch was with their children...and here sat alone, my husband and I, childless.

But I digress, We can only hope that this time next year we have a little one to take with us. But I am constantly trying to remind myself that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! NOT ME, BUT GOD!!!

But I do have to share a story, If this offends anyone I apologize in advance.

Terry shared with me his story of "depositing his specimen" as he calls it...
The doctors office apparently has a "video of the day". I guess that makes sense. If you have to "deposit" two days in a row, this way you don't get bored right? Well, apparently my husband is rather picky with his porn. I won't tell you what he said about Friday's video. But Saturday, I guess the video obviously had two people engaging in the physical act of love. But here's the kicker.... it was thru a fence. The guy on one side and the woman on the other. Apparantly, Terry was not at all impressed with what we now refer to as "fence porn". He commented on how the woman looked like a devil.

I'm not sure why this is so funny to me. But I guess if you can't find something little to laugh about during this process you are going to drive yourself nuts.

We are hoping that the crazy "devil fence porn" story is some kind of crazy sign. We do our test on Friday, October 31st. HALLOWEEN!! My older sister found out on Halloween 5 years ago that she was prego. Sounds like a sign to me???

I'm trying soooo hard to be optimistic!! But the 2ww is KILLING ME!!!!

The waiting is killing me!!!

Ok, so I'm one week post iui.

I went to my RE's office this morning for bloodwork. Basically from what I understand they are checking my progesterone levels. The doc wants to make sure that it greater than 20 so that my body can substain a pregnancy if God grants us the opportunity!

I got the call from the office that everything looks good. I ovulated and my progesterone is greater than 20.

So on with more waiting!!!

Now we wait.....

ok, so we had the actual IUI (Intrauterine insemination) procedure done yesterday and today....

Hopefully we aren't starting any traditions, but Terry went to the doc early to "watch his porn" as he so politely puts it. We met for breakfast and then both went back together. We did this both days. It was nice to enjoy a bite to eat together, even though I was so nervous on Friday that I just nibbled on my pancakes.

Friday, Shelly did the procedure. I barely felt anything. I asked her if she was doing it because I didn't feel it. Saturday was a different story. Another nurse practitioner in the office, that I was not familiar with, did the procedure. I've been told that your uterus moves so that may have been the cause of my pain, but WOW what a difference a day makes. I didn't really care for her bedside manner but Terry thinks it may just be due to the fact that it wasn't Shelly. I've grown really comfortable with Shelly and I kinda freek out a little when I have to deal with some one new.

So now we begin the 2 week wait!! Let the prayers begin!!!